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Men In Love

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It probably says something terrible about me that I find the men's sex fantasies in *Men in Love* much more offensive and about six times more arousing than the women's sex fantasies in *My Secret Garden. Wanting to see, but afraid to look, men invent voyeuristic fantasies to heal a paradox, the conflict in themselves. Men liking consensual, ecstatic sex doesn't have to be distorted into all this underlying "rage" stuff.

Instead of a range of sexual fantasies from gay men which would be no less fascinating and complex as the fantasies of straight men, we get an essay on the psychological underpinnings of homosexual identity.The amount of real-life infidelity among the men sharing these fantasies, and the casualness with which it was mentioned, was insane. It is shocking to me how many of the men contributing, had sex in childhood or early adolescence - with adults or older adolescents as well as with other children, and not uncommonly with family members. Even these fantasies, in a twisted way, were usually still focused on the woman's consent and pleasure. Friday said she got very few rape fantasies among her submissions, though I think her definition of what constitutes a rape fantasy may be significantly narrower than mine because she said she got only 3, and I counted several more than that in the book. I couldn't have known this except after the fact, but in all the other chapters I could have just read Ms.

Those fantasies which did not have any outright turnoffs were much too short for me to work up much of a hot and bother (something Nancy explains is normal since men don't take nearly as long to get there, or stay there as long one they've arrived). At birth infants are so undifferentiated that they have the capacity to receive erotic stimulation at every aperture of the body and any area of skin: from either or both sexes; from animals, food, objects, colors, currents of air, gradations of temperature. no signs of cover wear, clean glossy, pages clean, bright and unmarked, spine tightListing Includes Books Image.

What these two men “really” wanted, [psychiatrists] derisively explain, is not so much contact with the woman, as feeling of greater closeness between themselves: the prostitute was used merely as a conduit to communicate emotions to one another (. An extraordinary, explicitly masculine journey, Men In Love develops a startlingly honest portrayal of what it means to be a man in contemporary America. While the book shows that sexual longing and desire cross a large spectrum of identities, that doesn't mean people stop being what their identity is. It's true by her own admission that when she solicited stories she ended up receiving virtually no responses from gay men willing to tell their fantasies and secrets. Most of the fantasies were between vaguely and actively repulsive to me to read, and they were all so.

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