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Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You

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Co-parents don’t need to talk about anything else except for their children or something that will affect their children unless, of course, both of you consent to it.

Instead, there are rules and strict boundaries for everything, with as little direct communication as possible. In situations where there is a lack of trust or potential for false allegations, it may be necessary to arrange pick-ups and drop-offs in the presence of a witness.Parenting can be a difficult job, but having to co-parent with a toxic or abusive ex brings this challenge to a new level. Communicate Respectfully: Keep your communication with your ex-spouse civil and respectful, especially in the presence of the children. I’m not going to go deep into narcissism or narcissistic tendencies here, so if you want to learn more about that, listen to previous episodes I devoted to dealing with a narcissist and gaslighting. The terms of communication, the system of rewards and punishments for the child, forbidden activities, medical care, financials, school events, extra-curricular activities, calendar and scheduling of activities are just some of the things that you should be clear on. The more details you have, the better off you are in a potentially tricky situation in the future (i.

But it will also create a situation where the children will use the parents against each other to get their way, which is most times not what is best for them. In Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse.Respectfully listening to your ex is a great way of preventing further animosity between the two of you; remember, the best interests of your children must always come first and above all.

But think about how you’ve interacted with your ex to see if you have had a hand in where your relationship stands now.After all, if your ex-partner thinks that they’ve succeeded in pissing you off, they’ll feel like they “won”, and really, that’s the last thing that you want. If direct communication with your toxic ex-spouse is difficult or leads to further conflict, it is critical to put all communication in writing. L.Baker: Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex - What to do when your ex-spouse tries to turn the kids against you and, Surviving Parental Alienation a journey of hope and healing. Divorce is extremely tough, but that isn’t to say that co-parenting after divorce is easy, especially if you’re co-parenting with a toxic ex.

Remaining civil, focusing on yourself and your child, and seeking support can help decrease this burden. Whether you’re going through co-parenting struggles or another matter entirely, Regain-based therapists would be more than thrilled to work with you. If co-parenting with a toxic ex reaches a point where you genuinely feel worried about your safety or the safety of your children, do not hesitate to take the proper legal action. Using innovative technology to create an effective and efficient process for our clientele, our attorneys approach each case as a collective effort to find the best long-term solutions for each family.This can lead to what is known as parent alienation which, although not formally considered a syndrome in the DSM-5, is caused by emotional abuse. I have studied and published articles on several different aspects of parent child relationships and child abuse. If your communication usually happens once per day, then both you and your co-parent should try and sum up all that there is to say in one clear and concise message to reduce any conflict opportunity.

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